So it feels like I haven't blogged in a while. I played catch up a few weeks ago, but it still feels like I haven't blogged.
So many things have happened. The kids are only part of my life. I have been running ragged with Granny and my Uncle. Granny is going to have to go into a memory care home, and my Uncle is a hugely suborn, but he needs to go to an assisted living home, but he thinks he would be fine if she goes somewhere. She has Alzheimer's disease and is getting to the point where he can't keep up with her needs all the time. I am still trying to talk to them about it. I don't want to just do something and have them both upset with me.
Everyone who is married knows that marriages go through times when you feel really close and when you feel not so close. When you feel not so close you have to work at it even harder then. Now, it seems that is one of those times. Not that I don't expect to have those times, but when they do come along, I always feel like it needs to be fixed as soon as it can be. However, I am a coward about talking. I always have been shy when it comes to serious talks, and even though my husband is my best friend, and the person on this earth I am closest to, I have a hard time bringing up these topics. I know it seems crazy, but that's the way I feel. That makes it really hard to bring up ideas or concerns I am feeling. I think my husband either doesn't feel any of the things I feel or doesn't want to discuss them. This is not necessarily true, but finding the time to talk sometimes is really hard with 2 jobs, and 2 little ones with 2 schools and after school activities... We have recently has some talks and things seem to be getting a little better. It is always a act in motion, as any marriage should be.
I worry about my dog, Trixie. She is almost 16 and is getting older every day. She is starting to have "old lady" problems and makes me realize that she is not going to live forever. She has been with me since I was in nursing school. She was a puppy when I got her. When she does go, it is going to be really hard.
When I have days like today, when the kids get on my last nerve all day, I feel guilty for loosing my temper with them. I really try to be better, but it is really hard sometimes.
Life will continue to change, and I will continue to cope with it. I do so with lots of prayer.
